The people in poor relationships tend to focus on what is wrong, missing, the other person needs to change and or all the negatives. In healthy relationships although there are many of these same negative issues, the parties focus on – what they have, what is working, or in general the positives.

What are some of the issues that people tend to focus on and see as either positive or negative, and by the way they are neither positive or negative. Life is a perceptual experience. If you were with another person they most likely would not have exactly the same problems with some of your behaviors that your current partner does, but they would have problems with other behaviors. I guarantee it. And vice versa.

Why do people have so much of a problem accepting the behavior of others? Is it because they think their behavior is right, better than the other persons, or even the only way? Isn’t that a hoot.

Read the full article here: Relationship Advice

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As relationships mature, grow and develop people can sometimes forget the little things that can have a positive impact on the quality of the relationship. I put these in three categories: Simple courtesies, simple pleasures, and simple words.

Let’s look at each of these in a little more depth:

Simple courtesies. These are the common courtesies that many people fail to do after a relationship has reached –the taking you for granted stage. Such as saying thank you and please. Opening doors (this is for the ladies too) I have never subscribed to the theory that women are so weak that they need men to open doors for them. Men do it because they have manners. As a man I feel the same way, there is nothing wrong with a woman opening a door or holding it as I pass through rather than let it slam in my face. Remembering special dates, events, needs, wants, desires and dreams. Doing what you say you are going to do whether it is a telephone call or being on time, for anything. Late says what I was doing is more important than you are. One of my pet peeves is people who are late. What an insult. I know, I know - there is traffic, last minute something’s, but let these be the exceptions and not the rule.

Read the rest of the article here: Relationship Advice

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People can spend years together in a close physical relationship and never really know their partner. Oh yes, there is dialogue about superficial stuff like: How was your day? What’s for dinner? How was work? How are the kids? What shall we do this weekend? Tonight? How about a movie? That’s a great way to spend time together if you really want to get to know someone. You don’t have to talk. Just sit and be entertained.

Few people in intimate relationships really know their partner. Few have emotional level conversations about a variety of issues that are important to the other person. Why not try the following little test to see how well you know your significant other or spouse. If you can answer more than half about your partner, I will be surprised.

For the full article and the list of questions, click here: Relationship Advice

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One of the best ways to keep relationships positive, regardless of whether with friends, relatives or business associates or customers is to shoe appreciation. Going out of your way often to tell people how much you appreciate what they have done, regardless of how unimportant or little it might have been, puts you in the minority of the human race. (unfortunately)

Here is a quick example:

Each year I give away between 1000 and 2000 books to relatives, friends, clients and strangers. In the last ten years that’s over 10,000 free books I have given away valued at between $15. And $20. These people have received a gift. Unsolicited yes, but a gift nonetheless. How many people do you think have said thank you in the past ten years? (either calls or notes) Less than 25.

I guarantee someone in your life has done something for you that they feel deserves a simple thank you or some small appreciation. For a few tips about appreciation click here Relationship Advice

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